The Fallow Fields of Bray
Something of a fallow field, it is time disturb the earth of the blog after a ‘healthy break’ and upset a few apple carts. Actually, I’ve been inspired to write by listening to a vicar on Radio 5 talking about requests for music at funerals he has conducted. He had to turn down one such request for a song entitled ‘I’m not half the man I used to be.’ Apparently, the deceased had been hit by a truck ... Unpleasant.
But that’s not what this column is about. The guardians of good taste (they know who they are ...) make sure of that. The period of inactivity was largely down to an enforced separation from the club. But, like sad lovers, we were tenderly reunited – on a trial basis – during the summer. So at last (note: I didn’t start this sentence with a ‘but’), I have some empty tittle-tattle, some worthless ponderings to share. Butt (geddit?) – he doesn’t play for us any more. Apologies, that was just gratuitous.
To business. An awesome season. Uneasy questions though (a substitute for ‘but’ – I might need to slip in ‘however’ in the near future – this is a journalism masterclass – take note), remain ...
1st XI: Robert Key pulls a fetlock – the bloke from Blood Diamonds takes over. Relegation worries disappear. Draw your own conclusions.
2nd XI: Aaah ... the problem child, the chronic underachiever, the ... the train of thought has been broken by trying to show my son a picture from the slideshow on the website. Mr. IT – I can’t stop the thing and blow up the required pic of the flying Vegas. Dad to son: one day you could be this good. But son will never know – he can’t enjoy Vegas in full close-up glory ... We all witnessed the plaintive cry of the beached skipper, a forlorn figure in taffeta at the End of Year do. “I had to use 43 players.” I take this as an inability to form meaningful, non-threatening relationships with grown men.
3rd XI: Super effort. Nice one Saj. ‘nuf said.
4th XI: Ho, ho, ho. Dar es Salaam’s (get yer atlases out, muppets) finest delivers, yet again. But what’s this, Samir threatening to quit? And not releasing players? Apparently so little is known of the make-up of the fourths that Osama, Lord Lucan, the bloke from the Manic Street Preachers and Buster Crabbe (Wikipedia time, I fear for you lot) have been playing regularly. Home matches only. No, respect where respect is due. Stay on Samir – otherwise a return to the Dark Ages beckons. I hear that the evil Lord Dumvile awaits in the wings ...
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Reply #2 on :Tue January 26, 2010, 15:22:16
Blogger's 1st XI
Reply #1 on :Tue January 05, 2010, 17:44:26